i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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