Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
Randomize
