I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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