When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
