Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
