he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
