He disabled his match.com account in front of me
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
