You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Randomize
