He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
