This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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