Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
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