so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
