I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
