so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
