I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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