i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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