Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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