It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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