he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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