Have you finally orgasmed yet?
He had one of those small greek statue penises
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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