i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Randomize
