pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
