They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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