Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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