The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Even my vagina gasped.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
