I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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