last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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