So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
