no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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