another moral hangover. fuck.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Randomize
