What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
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