CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
