So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
