Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
