we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
