I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
