in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
