My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Randomize
