i wish starbucks made bloody marys
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
