Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
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