Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(303): View more from Colorado

I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?

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(404): View more from Georgia

Are you still at the party or did I leave?

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(61): View more from Australia

I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY

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(478): View more from Georgia

Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.

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(520): View more from Arizona

She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.

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(312): View more from Illinois

I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless

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