Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
