I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
