come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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