I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Randomize
