Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
