it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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