We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
