Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
