Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I seem to have left my pride at pride
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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